


Logbook#7274

by Precursor



Category: Anthem (Video Game)
Genre: Diary/Journal, F/M, Sad, somber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-05 10:11:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17916776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Precursor/pseuds/Precursor
Summary: If it happens in the field, it stays in the field...at least, that's what us Freelancers are supposed to tell ourselves...And if it happens in Fort Tarsis, I tend to not question it.  The inhabitants of the fort more often questionme.But there are some things I can't shake, and those things aren't anyone else's business - no matterwherethey are.





	1. Dismissed

**Author's Note:**

> **[Warning: Contains In-Game Spoilers]**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **465 LV**  
>  **14:51:56**  
>   
>  “Strong alone, stronger together.”  
> ...Right up until you get stabbed in the _back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happens after Fortress of Dawn.

I’ve made so little friends these last few years, I’ve forgotten what losing them feels like.  And I don’t mean death.  I don’t mean the subtle distance that creeps its way between two kindred spirits.

I’ve forgotten what it’s like to lose someone I love to their own devices, and not be able to guide them home. 

That shift in gears behind his eyes; the heinous mechanisms that put his limbs in motion and ran on betrayal as fuel...

He didn’t need a javelin to be wearing a suit of armor.  He’d been hiding the _real_ him the entire time.

Or was he?

Was it part of his plan to be integrated into my brain, and understand me better than myself?  Was it his plan to use Haluk and Faye’s arrival to orchestrate his exit?

Was it his plan to move just a little closer, to make his eyes just a little softer, everytime we spoke in that corner of Fort Tarsis?

Could I have stopped this from happening?

I suppose it doesn’t matter much, anymore.  Can’t stop to dwell on it.  Everyone knows a Freelancer dies when they stop moving.

Bet that’s a lesson his little books didn’t teach him...and for his sake, he better start running.

I’d be happy to enlighten him.

PS:

Owen, if you’re reading this?

Consider yourself dismissed.

**_[Log Ended at 14:55:01]_ **


	2. Prism Tacit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **465 LV**  
>  **11:57:06**  
>   
>  I didn't realize playing "marriage counselor" was part of the job description.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nadira/Leyton subplot (dialogue options in Fort Tarsis.)

It takes a certain kind of woman to ask  _another_ woman to check in with her husband, much less ask her to coax him to be her _friend._   She's gotta be super secure, or just really confident in their marriage, because I wouldn't be _caught dead_ doing that.  I didn't want to _do it at all._

If Nadira hadn't been a friend of Tassyn's, it might have been less scary to tell her "no."  It may have even been an  _option._

I mean, I've handled some pretty weird shit around the fort...but this?

When I first spoke with Leyton, her husband, I didn't know what to expect.  Dull sex life?  Infidelity?  Too much work, not enough pleasure?

Definitely not a dominion sleeper agent that could flip a switch with a trigger word:

Prism Tacit.

It sent Leyton into his... "real him," a dominion spy that was tasked with  _spying_ on Nadira.  That's not even the craziest part.  When I told Nadira the truth, she didn't  _bat an eye._

She was all like, "awe, that's so sweet, he still loves me."  I wanted to shake her and say "Wake up lady, this is dangerous!"  But seeing them side-by-side, watching her talk to the  _real_ Leyton, _post_ -trigger word...

I couldn't tell Tassyn when she cornered us.  I  _lied_ to a top-ranking Corvus agent in the name of "love."

Who am I, anymore?

Definitely not someone stupid enough to save this log...I'm not leaving any paper trails.

This's got _nothing_ to do with me.

**_[Log Deleted at 12:07:23]_ **

 


	3. Preordained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **465 LV**  
>  **01:45:43**  
>   
>  What’s freedom worth of you can’t freely enjoy it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Owen Corley Spoilers.

Owen walked me through what it meant to be a Cypher, back before he became a traitor.  How you have to sacrifice your entire life, essentially, to hone your “gift.”

But are their innate abilities really blessings...?

Or are they part of some sequential curse?

I guess we all can’t love our jobs.  If you put Owen and Faye next to each other, there’s no better example of that.  I mean, I didn’t have the heart to tell him she was better at it than he was...Not that I really _had_ to.  Kicking him to the “sidelines” was enough.  Excluding him from our conversations, was enough...

You know what? No. I’m not doing this to myself.  In my line of work, I can’t afford an “obligation Cypher.”  Owen might’ve been good, but his _heart_  wasn’t in it.  That’s how Lancers like me get killed.

But, I guess...when you flesh it all out like that...

I can’t really blame him for leaving.

Did he have to steal our key to closing the Heart of Rage? No. Did he have to start helping the Monitor? Hell no.

But he did it.  He followed his dream, and is probably flying around somewhere having the time of his life...without me...

Without so much as a  _worry_ about me.

I bet he’s terrible.  I hope he gets overheated mid-strafe when he finally realizes he’s on the losing side of this; on the other side from _me_ , on that battlefield.

And you know what?

I’m still jealous of that two-faced bastard.

While he’s out there prancing around in a javelin that’s virtually indestructible, and I’m stuck here...behind the walls of Fort Tarsis.  And when I’m not here, I’m in a strider.  And if I’m not in a strider, I’m in a javelin...

So I guess what I’m getting at, is...

When am _I_ going to be free?

_**[Log ended at 02:00:00]** _

**Author's Note:**

> Will add tags with new entries. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
